Reflections on the possibility of missing out on what’s supposed to be my first HALF MARATHON RUN this Sunday.

24th November 2017
“26th November 2017”
I had been anticipating for this day for quite some time now.
And three nights ago, I was really excited that the day was finally approaching.
Today I’m lying down in my bed with my legs stretched out, a pillow under my right knee to elevate the right leg that sustained an injury three evenings ago during a practice run or while strecthing after the run (I’m not sure) hoping and still praying for the slightest sign of improvement with just two days to go for race day.

It’s Friday and I don’t feel so good about the pain. I spent hours trying to google
on whether to run through the injury or just skip it. DNF or DNS? Yes I got myself familiar with runner’s acronyms after i started running.
Oh this Sunday is supposed to be my first half marathon race day . But doesn’t look like I’ll make it.
I’m writing this post so I’ll remember the days leading up to this UNICEF HK CHARITY RUN 2017 race day (26th November 2017) and perhaps to remind myself to be mindful of not repeating things I might have done wrong (need to reflect on this) and to avoid such injuries atleast in the future.

Oh btw I also have this movie “Andaz Apna Apna” on in my laptop right now for the second time in three days trying hard to distract myself from this agonizing pain on the inside of my right knee. I thought it was getting better yesterday but today it just felt like it was getting more painful and then I felt the need to see a physiotherapist.

I now wish I hadn’t run the 15k three nights ago or hadn’t run so long or i don’t know hadn’t done those split trials. Should have taken easy! If only! But it’s past. You can do nothing about it.

Two days ago on a Wednesday morning I woke up to this sharp pain in my right knee while trying to strecth out from bed and I couldn’t move my right leg at all.
I freaked out that morning. I was like “WTF is happening? Was it bad last night? I don’t think I felt any pain, nothing like this”. I was talking to myself like I often do. Yes I talk to myself alot that too in English πŸ˜› “OMG this can’t be serious. The race is on Sunday. I better get my knees moving because I NEED TO RUN THIS SUNDAY!!!!”

It took me some time to take in everything that happened that morning, the pain and the realisation that hit me slowly – “if at all it continues like this, I’m not gonna be able to run on Sunday.” And that felt really bad. A day ago I thought I’d cry if I missed this race but I’m better with that feeling now.
Why! I had run an actual half marathon during my practice runs and was able to hit 10 k a lot of times easily with better strength and a better timing than when I first started. Yes means a lot to me. I haven’t run my entire life!

I was starting to finally love the mind games and the slow build up of mental strength to keep going for long distances during my practice runs. I liked how I’d usually be the last one to keep running around the park while people would come and do a 2k or 5 k and leave.

I loved how some people would come up to me and actually say “You’re doing good” I mean strangers you meet every other day while running or doing those cross fit trainings.
I liked how I’d probably be able to pick out people who were prepping themselves for long runs and how they’d also notice me running for longer periods.
I felt good working towards whatever I was working towards – the race day. My goal was nothing fancy but to finish the race within the time limit of 2 hours and 45 mins. Why? because I was going easy on myself. After all it’s the first time I’m supposed to be racing any race. And I wanted the finisher’s medal.

I have never participated in a running event before. And this meant alot to me.
To be honest, it’s not like I trained so hard and did a hard core training for this run but I put it my best efforts taking time out to run whnever I could except when I was travelling. I was slowly improving with my endurance and though still very slow, I was getting better with my timing and my form.
I liked how running took my mind off so many problems in my life, how it made me feel at the end of each long run. Like Yay! And I loved pushing myself “one more kilometer one more round! I loved how it made me feel EUPHORIC and ALL PUMPED UP – FULL OF ENERGY!
I liked how I’d always feel the next day after I did a long run. Active and full of energy!

Uhmm I wasn’t into running at any point of time in my life. Truth be told, I used to run in high school maybe around 9-10 years ago. I would jog for about 30 minutes and not run fast before doing all my workouts at home and my mum used to get pretty pissed off with me cause I wouldn’t be helping her with the household chores in the evenings and would be doing such workouts instead.
Then i stopped all these in college and my last few years as a corporate slave was very inactive. The only things I used to love doing was hiking and walking and travelling.
But I was quite active and used to feel strong about myself. Why my dad would always ask for my help for any physical work in the family. Has to mean something?

So what got me into this mindset of running?
I would repeat it again and write it here again.
A little inspiration along the way wherever and whomever you can pick it from, goes a long way.

I met a friend here some months back and he had casually told me “Maybe you could run a race or try running and see if you can take part in a race” while we chit chatted away.
And I’ll be honest that I had “running” nowhere in my mind those days.
I wasn’t even sure if I could do a 2 k cause I never ran all my life though running sounds pretty easy πŸ˜›
So I did a trial run and though I took time, I could run a 7k the first time. I knew then that I was ready for more and finally my friend convinced me to register for a half marathon.
You should have seen the excitement as I registered that day in September. I was happy that I was working towards something atleast.

Is my yoga at fault? Time to reflect maybe?

Yes a fitness journey. And so I’m thankful for that. People you meet could help you take up certain things you might not have thought about.
Who knows? And isn’t that the best part?
But today as I write this, I’m a little sad at the possibility of sitting out the half marathon. AAH not being able to run sounds so bad. But I’m taking it in slowly and trying to make myself feel better with positive thoughts.
I’m trying to take in all the good things I learnt and endured during my practice and to keep it going. Trying to remember my last few good runs and telling myself “Yes I’ll continue running”. It wasn’t just for the half marathon.
I planned to run more and improve my timings after this but it would be so nice if I can actually run this Sunday but it’s so unlikely. Well there will be more races anywhere I will be in every part of this world and I’ll be keeping an eye out for such events and races.

Lastly some “Reflections” on my injury and my current situation:
Maybe I pushed myself too much? I don’t think so. Could have been because I neglected streghth and conditioning yes?

Could have been the splits that I kept practising after my runs. OUCH!

Alot more yoga stretches after runs like splits practice (again i’ve been told many times by people around me that I push myself alot and have a strong will power but isnt that good?maybe! maybe not always?
My housemate recently joked that if he had my will power, he’d be able to do the handstand in a few days πŸ˜› (Oh yes i’ve been working on it) or that he’d be the president of china πŸ˜› whatever he meant.

Coming back to the point, Maybe I didn’t rest enough? Not sure I always did yoga and other workouts and swimming on days I didn’t run, I always wished I had more number of hours in my days to be able to do all of these.
Maybe I did push myself because i started from zero three months back – this journey to fitness.

Anyway, it’s always a tough choice to defer. Sometimes just personally other times because you put in alot of work and time behind it but there will always be more races in the future and most importantly such incidents or situations should serve as a learning experience, something you would reflect back on and wouldn’t want to repeat if you did anything wrong in your practice leading upto the race.
And it’s always better to get back more quickly on your feet, up and running other than running on the injury, aggravating it and getting sidelined for long.

Praying hard and hoping for the best! duh!

Think long term, rehab properly and come back stronger.
It’s always better to get back to your workouts and other activities sooner because it’s just been three nights and I already feel like shit having to sit and do nothing because of the pain.
#notetomyself


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